Womb me up Scottie
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Thursday, 22 October 09 - 09:26 AM (GMT) By Helenasia - in Work |
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So, this morning I was surfing the web and came across this here article through yahoo...
Yes, its true, they are close to being able to give women who have damaged wombs for whatever reason a transplant so that they too can enjoy the miracle of birth firsthand, making surrogacy unnecessary. Awesome right?
Then my dear colleague Sofie goes quiet for a bit...and then exclaims:
"THEN MEN CAN FINALLY GIVE BIRTH!" She looked ecstatic thinking up the possibilities..."I could run up to a man, kick him in the balls then he could become a woman, have the transplant and finally FINALLY we would be able to find out which is more painful: a kick in the nuts or childbirth!"
Later when my boss arrived for work we asked him "If you could have a womb and give birth, would you?" With absolutely no hesitation he replied "Hell no, I would have it cut out, TOO POSH TO PUSH!"
Disclaimer: If you just read a whole ton of stuff you didn't wanna read and you wish you could just bypass the ramblings and see my latest work and inspiration, now you can! Visit The Ultimate Creations of Helenasia and all your dreams can come true!On love
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Monday, 19 October 09 - 07:18 PM (GMT) By Helenasia - in Love |
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For almost 2 years now I have been incredibly stupid in love. I have fallen in love with those who are unavailable, either emotionally or physically, sometimes both. I have fallen for those who are immature both physically and emotionally, and worst of all, I have fallen deeply in love with those who belong to someone else.
This has happened more than once, more than twice in the past 2 years.
Wanna know who I have not fallen in love with?
The (single) ones who fell for me.
For some reason, although I would really love to share my life with someone, I want it to be on my terms, and those who have made a move on me, in the manner I deem appropriate, or acceptable or welcome, just haven't done it for me.
I strongly believe that there is someone out there for me, that I won't have to settle for. And I believe that being single is not the best attribute a man can have.
This sounds awful, but come on, how many attractive funny and awesome dudes aged 30+ are single? I suppose what I mean by this is that I don't mind fighting for someone, but...I don't go looking for trouble. It takes two baby, it takes two.
I would rather spend the next year working my ass off, having stolen moments here and there, romantic affairs with gorgeous men from other countries, passion and fire.... than sit at home knowing I could do better, wasting my life away on someone I do not love.
One of my friends mothers told her that she should only marry someone who loves her more than she loves him. Now, although thats not so bad, for me, I won't settle for like.
I want it all.
Love without pain isn't really romance (Röyksopp)
PS. No I am not seeing anyone, but I have a massive crush.
Hey hey we're the monkeys!
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Sunday, 04 October 09 - 07:20 PM (GMT) By Helenasia - in Updates |
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So next week my probational 3 months are up at Disney and we have our first review... Am a little nervous about it, just since you never know, do you, and its always hard taking in criticism, no matter how positive, and I just am not that naive to think its all going to be praise for my awesomeness.
Honestly I think I have a feeling I know exactly what they are going to say: That I need to listen more, and not take it to heart when I get criticism. Hahaha...
Am worried about the fact that they are going to point out that I get worried about criticism. LOL.
But anyway, realising that I have already been at DIS for 3 months now also made me think about a few other things, like I have now been in the UK for over a year. I started to think about how worried I was at the time whether I had made the right choice.
A year ago I had a place in Malaysia, with friends and loved ones, and a career (of sorts). And I came back to England for a few reasons. A) to pursue the dream and do my MA... and B) to be closer to family in case they needed me, or...in case I needed them.
I also wanted to settle down. Find love, make my own family. Etc. This was kinda a big thing...having moved so often in the past few years.
So lets take stock now.
I am still single, so the family thing didnt work. Yet. I am still building on a good strong network of friends, my mates in Wales are still close by, but...I will get there.
But here are the things that truly matter.
I got an internship with Disney Interactive Studios before even finishing my MA.
My sister is pregnant, going to have a little girl in January and I CAN BE THERE FOR HER!
On weekends I can visit my cousin if I need advice, a bit of family madness...etc:)
I am happy.
I feel like I am really getting somewhere.
There are of course times when...I feel like I suck. I am a terrible gamer. Got kicked off a Left4Dead game today. I don't blame them, I probably would have ended up shooting all my teammates...and it was my first online game too...but am trying to remember that I have other nongaming talents...like filmmaking. I am not a gamer, I am an illustrator, designer and animator. It just wouldnt be fair if I was an awesome gamer too. Although I am pretty vicious at Tekken....
Other days I just feel like I am in so far over my head its not even funny. Like I am a kid trying to live in a grownup world. But then again, those days aren't as often anymore...and I have a feeling I will be having those days until...well until I have no more days...
There are still so many things I need to change about myself so that I can care about me a little more. I need to take care of myself a lot better than I have been doing lately. My weekends are usually quiet, I need them to rest and recuperate after the week...and this weekend has been good. A little downtime etc.
Ugh, this has to be the most aimless bloody blog I have ever written.
What am I trying to say here?
I feel like I am in the right place, at the right time for once. I feel like I am slowly (but steadily) getting where I want to be.
But, its a lot emptier here than I thought it would be, and...I feel like at any moment I could self destruct and sabotage myself off this path.
I have no idea where I will be at this time next year and it both terrifies and thrills me.
Don't get me wrong, I am NOT complaining....am just a little...unsure of myself. Bacon and chocolate are helping...but...that in turn causes other insecurities.
What do you guys do when you feel like you are a slightly retarded 5 year old with anger management issues, trying to cut it in an adults world?
For the creative people in my life... Listen Up.
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Saturday, 08 August 09 - 09:59 PM (GMT) By Helenasia - in Stumbled Upon... |
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Am just going to copy paste this article here, it is seriously the best thing since sliced bread. It is the creative persons new bible and it had me from the bit where it talks about the heavenly days of expense accounts...
Smooches from the previously swine-flu-afflicted Helen.
The 7 vices of highly creative people
If you go through life free of bad habits, you won't live forever, but it will feel like it.
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By D.A. Blyler
It all starts one quiet afternoon at the brew-pub. I'm sitting with my associate Bobby, enjoying a pint of the house ale, when Stephen Covey (author of "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People") suddenly appears on the bar television. I can't quite describe the level of annoyance that the bald business guru brings to a room of gentle drinkers, trying to enjoy themselves while the rest of the populace is at work, but a sudden wail from a man in the far corner, similar to that of a small dog yanked forcefully by the tail, alerts everyone that something is terribly wrong. In a matter of moments all eyes are fixed in distress upon the television.
Soon customers with clenched fists start to share horror stories of managers who force-fed Covey's book to them. And of group leaders who scurried around the office pasting up signs like: "Synergy!" or "Be Proactive!" or "What would Covey do in your situation?" Rage and desperation had finally forced our fellow drinkers to leave their professions and find solace in the thick, rich ales fermented by the pub's microbrewery.
Bobby and I are amazed. Having spent 10 years carving out lives as professional grad students, we've been oblivious to the rising tide of worker despair. I remember seeing a Covey infomercial several months back; it seemed harmless enough. Watching employees become automatons spouting Covey's catch phrases at every opportunity was the funniest thing I had seen on television in quite a while. But now, as the man in the corner begins weeping, Bobby and I realize that larger issues are at hand.
Covey is no business guru, but rather the result of a world gone awry -- the world of work made worthless. Gone are the large expense accounts. Gone are the smoke breaks and three martini lunches. Gone are the innocent office flirtations. Good lord, who would want to work in an environment like that?
I slam my fist on the table. "We need a book about the 7 Vices of Highly Creative People before the whole country ends up in a straitjacket!" Bobby agrees enthusiastically, grabs a stack of napkins and begins writing. All the years we've spent studying history and literature are finally paying off. It isn't easy. But after six hours and five pitchers we finish the job. The pub closes so we gather the napkins and head for a late-night bar to celebrate. It isn't quite a book, but what the hell. We have better things to do than write another damn self-help book.
Vice one: Be a drinker
Winston Churchill, a great fan of the martini, once said that it must always be remembered that he has taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of him. For Churchill, like many other great drinkers, alcohol was a tool used to feed creativity and social discourse. For others, like Ernest Hemingway, alcohol was a way to place the mind on a different plane after writing all day at a desk. This is what old Papa had to say:
I have drunk since I was 15 and few things have given me more pleasure. When you work all day with your head and know you must again work the next day, what else can change your ideas and make them run on a different plane like whiskey?
Some people might say that this is to use alcohol as a crutch, but that's always been the case. Mark Twain, who drank from morning until night, would periodically abstain from drink and smoke just to silence the critics who said he was a slave to his vices. And on his feistier days, he would give them a severe tongue-lashing. "You can't get to old age by another man's road!" he'd scream. "My vices protect me but they would assassinate you!" His critics would then shuffle away to their 12-step programs and the organizing of their sock drawers.
To be a drinker means, of course, to be social. Sure, it's all right to drink by oneself on occasion. But because the highly creative live so often in the private world of ideas, they also need to mingle with their friends at a good party. That's why F. Scott Fitzgerald threw his fantastic "Gatsbyesque" parties on Long Island, inviting such other besotted artists as Gloria Swanson, Sherwood Anderson, John Dos Passos and Dorothy Parker. Remember, though, that when entertaining the highly creative some ground rules need to be set. Fitzgerald's were posted at the entrance to his home in Great Neck:
Visitors are requested not to break down doors in search of liquor, even when authorized to do so by the host and hostess ... Weekend guests are respectfully notified that the invitation to stay over Monday issued by the host-hostess during the small hours of Sunday morning must not be taken seriously.
It's always good to think ahead.
Lastly, something should be said for the occasional weekend bender, that is as long as your head is in the right place. If a person is suppressing problems or going through severe emotional distress, alcohol can bring out bad tendencies ... like singing karaoke. But if you're secure with yourself, the occasional bender can be a rather helpful mystical experience. As Henry James once wrote, "Sobriety diminishes, discriminates and says no, while drunkenness expands, unites and says yes!"
Vice Two: Begin with a Smoke
In today's climate, smoking might be the most unpopular of all the vices. To say that the furor over its ill effects has reached irrational levels is an understatement. Let's accept the guidance of journalist Fletcher Knebel, who keenly observed as far back as 1961 that smoking is the leading cause of statistics. The fact is that most people who smoke don't die of lung cancer. But all people who don't smoke do die of something. Marlene Dietrich, who had her own special love of cigarettes, put it into proper perspective:
People who quit smoking think that they have made a pact with the devil and believe they will never die. In reality they die from other illnesses: intestinal cancer, stomach cancer, cancer of the pancreas. Cancer forever gropes around for further victims.
So let's not place blame on the lowly cigarette for the infirmities of the world. Yes, smoking has its risks. So does getting out of bed in the morning. But a good smoke is often a lovely affair worth pursuing.
Take the great Spanish filmmaker Luis Bu�uel, an ardent lover of tobacco and life's pleasures. He elevated cigarettes to the level of poetry:
If alcohol is queen, then tobacco is her consort. It's a fond companion for all occasions, a loyal friend through fair weather and foul. People smoke to celebrate a happy moment or hide a bitter regret. I love to touch the pack in my pocket, open it, savor the feel of the cigarette between my fingers, the paper on my lips, the taste of tobacco on my tongue. I love to watch the flame spurt up, love to watch it come closer and closer, filling me with its warmth.
Makes you want to light one up right now, doesn't it?
Smoking has often been linked with creative genius. For example, French philosopher Albert Camus is well known to have savored his smokes though his lungs were withered by tuberculosis. And who can imagine Albert Einstein without his pipe, George Burns without his cigar or Jackson Pollock without a cigarette dangling from his lips? Though a stimulant, smoking has a relaxing influence and allows the mind to empty itself, enabling new thoughts to enter. Following the wisps of smoke as they leave one's mouth might actually be thought of as a creative exercise or, at the very least, as Oscar Wilde once observed, smoking a cigarette is "a perfect pleasure, because they are exquisite and leave one unsatisfied."
Vice Three: Put Gambling First
Gambling is at the heart of every worthwhile accomplishment in life. Consequently, vice three is essential for the success of your creativity. Instinctively, the highly creative person knows that nothing matters except the throw of the dice. As the French say, "There are two great pleasures in gambling: that of winning and that of losing." Or, in the words of Mark Twain, "There are two times in a man's life when he should [gamble]: when he can't afford it and when he can." These are vital lessons.
The world is full of stories of highly creative people whose success was based on the big gamble. A young Steven Spielberg sneaks into a Hollywood film studio, sets up an office and proceeds to act like an employee, thus beginning the most lucrative directorial career in history. Thirty-year-old Henry Miller moves to Paris with little money and no prospects, determined to become the most talked-about American novelist of his generation, and does. Hugh Hefner boldly walks into the offices of John Baumgarth and acquires the rights to reproduce the photograph of a nude Marilyn Monroe, a little known starlet, for his yet-to-be-published magazine.
Certainly, there are horrifying stories of those who gambled and lost heavily, whose compulsive involvement in games of chance, often played out in the arena of big business, nearly ruined them and scores of others. But it's not until the end of life that we truly know what we've won or lost. French philosopher Denis Diderot summed it up eloquently:
The world is the house of the strong. I shall not know until the end what I have lost or won in this place, in this vast gambling den where I have spent more than 60 years, dicebox in hand, shaking the dice.
Vice Four: Think Oysters
The hysteria concerning eating habits has nearly reached the grotesque levels granted smoking. Fat or non-fat? Cholesterol free? Salt or no salt? Most eaters, as long as they exercise a modicum of restraint, don't have to worry about dying from their diet. And all those critics who have tried to convince us that food is poison should be taken behind the shed and whipped with a massive slice of uncooked bacon.
Let us bow to the wisdom of the marvelous chef Julia Child, now an octogenarian. When asked about so-called health foods and non-fat products, she gnashed her teeth and stated emphatically that she never would buy such crap, that they have nothing to do with the enjoyment of life.
Make no mistake, the highly creative do enjoy life. Sure, sometimes there is a suicide among the group, and many are often prone to fits of depression. But when they finally decide to stop wallowing in their suffering, they embrace life with passion. And when it comes to food, they want to eat well, and eat properly. In other words, foie gras, fresh asparagus and filet mignon will always win out over a plate of french fries and greasy burgers. At least it will for those who are truly creative and whose imaginations permeate their lifestyles as well as their art. Something that sadly can't be said of lesser creatives -- Rosie O'Donnell and Tom Arnold come to mind.
Certain foods are frequently associated with highly creative people. None more so than the oyster. The inspiration of this shellfish can be traced throughout the canon of English literature. From Geoffrey Chaucer to George Bernard Shaw, it reaches its zenith with a tribute by Saki, who wrote, "The oyster is more beautiful than any religion, nothing in Buddhism or Christianity matches its sympathetic unselfishness."
I'm not sure I would describe them in such exalted terms, but I do know I have had more invigorating conversations with writers and painters over a plate or two of fresh oysters than any other food. The elegant bivalves inspire a level of discourse often missing in our quick-meal culture -- yet one that any dining experience should never be without. And for many people there is the added pleasure of oysters being the next best thing to sex. After all, we don't eat for the good of living but the enjoyment of it.
Vice Five: Seek Fashion First, Then seek to be Understood
In these days of dressing down and "casual Fridays," it's prudent to remember that the highly creative have always known that communication with words is secondary. When winning friends and influencing people, the primary concern is your attire -- your own peculiar fashion statement. It is through the impact of this image that both friends and enemies will initially come to know you. What is more gratifying than having everyone stop and stare, wondering why they feel so drab and ineffectual, when you enter a room? If you've got a stylish wardrobe, the battle to be understood is merely a stroll in the park.
One of the inevitable consequences of dressing down is that everyone today looks the same -- and those with designer logos like Hilfiger plastered on their clothes look plain stupid. The highly creative always choose their wardrobes with a more consistent flair. Whether it be Picasso with his striped sailors' tops, which he imagined gave him an eternally boyish edge; or Hugh Hefner with his classic pipe and silk pajamas, which he believed gave him a kind of worldly nonchalance (and could be stripped off quickly when opportunity knocked); the creative spirit picks a style and sticks with it.
Today there is a growing demand for comfort without any regard for style that numbs the mind. Comfort is, at times, a worthwhile consideration. But simply because your clothes aren't comfortable doesn't mean you can't enjoy them. In the days of Mozart, fashion was notoriously uncomfortable. Yet in a letter to his sister he once gushed, "We put on our new clothes and were as beautiful as angels." Sure, he sounds like a twit, but the important point is that the beauty and style of Mozart's wardrobe overshadowed any discomfort. And it is this attitude that inspired our own Benjamin Franklin to proclaim, "We eat to please ourselves, but dress to please others."
Vice Six: Sex
The sexual appetite and prowess of those possessed by creativity can't be argued. Anecdotes abound regarding the bedroom antics of famous writers, artists and actors. But why is it that sex yields such power over these individuals?
Perhaps Omar Sharif summed it up best when he remarked, "Making love? It's communion with a woman. The bed is our holy table. There I find passion and purification." This sense of purification is extremely important, because such an experience is needed to begin the whole creative process anew, and is a state difficult to achieve now that religious rituals have fallen by the wayside.
The catharsis that comes from this experience often leads highly creative people to pursue several lovers. And many are venomously referred to as philandering Don Juans. But it isn't for lack of affection that a Don Juan goes from woman to woman, as Camus explained: "But rather because he loves them with equal enthusiasm and each time with all himself, that he must repeat this gift and this exploration. Why must one love rarely to love well?"
Richard Burton's lovers would agree. They proclaimed it made no difference if he were with another woman the following week because when he was with them they were his whole world (try finding a woman that understanding these days). But it's not surprising that Burton found so many willing lovers. This is how he described his lovemaking: "When you are with the only woman -- the only one you think there is for that moment -- you must love her and know her body as you would think a great musician would orchestrate a divine theme." (Today most men maneuver themselves the way a line cook orchestrates a three-minute egg.) Consequently, Burton felt that in many ways he was monogamous, because when he was with one woman, he never thought of another. Needless to say, the highly creative are highly creative at rationalizing their behavior.
Lastly, something need be said with regard to the highly creative who are lovers of the same sex. Writer and historian Gore Vidal is quoted famously as stating, "There are no heterosexuals or homosexuals, only homo- or heterosexual acts. Most people are a mixture of impulses." Maybe. But before the days of George Michael and public toilet rendezvous, sex for those driven by a desire for their own gender often took an even more mystical form than heterosexual love. In the mind of American poet Walt Whitman, sex encompassed:
all bodies, souls, meanings, proofs, delicacies, results, promulgations, songs, commands, health, pride, the maternal mystery, the seminal milk, all hopes, benefactions, bestowals, all the passions, loves, beauties, and delights of the earth.
Heckuva list.
Vice Seven: Abuse the Card
To nurture the previous six vices resources are needed. Because most highly creative people never fully enter the work force, nor make a salary sufficient to their needs, credit is a necessity. Hunter S. Thompson cut to the chase nicely when he declared that the first and most important rule of a writer is: abuse your credit for all it's worth. The highly creative travel an expensive road, and the best way to stay between the yellow lines, or at the very least keep food on your table, is to Abuse the Card. And the larger the debt the better the bet. As the essayist Samuel Johnson observed:
Small debts are like a small shot -- they are rattling on every side and can barely be escaped without a wound. Great debts are like a cannon, of loud noise but little danger.
Which must be the reason I feel so safe and secure when my card authorizes another round of drinks for the table.
Don't fear if your creditors come closing in on you. When the highly creative find themselves in financial straits, they skip town. For example, in 1891 Mark Twain took a much-deserved vacation in Europe, which lasted nine years, leaving his legion of creditors to antagonize the less fortunate along the banks of the Mississippi. Today, it is even easier to take a long, literary holiday. And don't forget, bankruptcy is an option always worth considering. In fact, some highly creative people find utter destitution spiritually enriching. Novelist John Updike once wrote:
Bankruptcy is a sacred state, a condition beyond conditions, as theologians might say, and attempts to investigate it are necessarily obscene, like spiritualism. One only knows that he has passed into it, and lives beyond us, in a condition not ours.
Having nearly reached this "sacred state" several times already, I can't say I would describe it in such lofty terms. I prefer the more pragmatic view Shakespeare took: "He who dies pays all debt." Or Oscar Wilde's strangely sentimental one, "It is only by not paying one's bills that one can remain in the memory of the commercial classes." For my part, I'm doing all that I can to be remembered for a very long time.
In the end, everyone should remember that the highly creative always have expectations of great things. Their accumulated debt should thus be viewed only as an advance on their future earnings. But it's not an easy life. One should never underestimate the amount of distress caused by overzealous creditors. Especially when they bear down on poor debt-ridden artists, for these harassed souls are often the true visionaries of our time, or any time. When approached yet again by one of his many creditors, Lord Byron implored, "It is very iniquitous of you to make me pay my debts. You have no idea the pain it gives one." I feel his pain.
Conclusion
If anyone should still be left unconvinced on the benefits of pursuing these vices, let us remember these sage words of Abraham Lincoln: "It has been my experience that those with no vices have very few virtues."
Keep that one in mind during the next presidential election.
salon.com | Feb. 9, 2000
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About the writerD.A. Blyler is the author of two collections of poetry, "Shared Solitude" and "Diary of a Seducer." He is also the author of "The Expatriates," a screenplay and "The Pillars on Horseback," a play. He lives in the Czech Republic. Disclaimer: If you just read a whole ton of stuff you didn't wanna read and you wish you could just bypass the ramblings and see my latest work and inspiration, now you can! Visit The Ultimate Creations of Helenasia and all your dreams can come true!
August already?
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Tuesday, 04 August 09 - 10:00 PM (GMT) By Helenasia - in Updates |
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Date: August 4th, 2009
Location: Ealing, London
Weight: 9 st 3 lb
Current mood: BORED
Somehow we have already entered the gloriously transitional month of August. The month that serves as the buffer between summer and fall, the month that watches us cling with desperate hands to the little sunshine left on the horizon. I am being moody here aren't I.
Honestly, its just another month, but I am surprised it came so fast. Cannot believe I have already worked for Disney for 3 weeks...and I still fucking love it! The jobs vary from day to day, and the people are...oh they are human and very fucking interesting, and my lovely girlie Sofie, well she keeps me laughing day in and day out:) I have more fun at work than home and that has been especially true for the past 4 days I have spent BEDRIDDEN DUE TO FUCKING SWINEFLU! Yeah btw theres no swearbox here suckers! I can swear all I want!
Um yeah they kinda made me a swearbox at work...its a good idea...:) Other people there swear too, just...not as much as me perhaps. I think I take a little more joy in it than most. :D
So yeah last Thursday I had a sore throat, then on Friday a cough, then Friday night I was in bed by 9 with a horrible cold sweat and nightmares and ugh...over the past weekend I have...
- not eaten much at all, which is why I am now lighter...
- read one book (The Book of Lost Things, awesome)
- watched the entire first season of "Lie to Me", love Tim Roth...
- and the first 5 episodes of "True Blood" ( its so so hot)
- watched the Hangover too (good but reminded me way too much of someone lol...)
- and Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (Matthew McConaug-haaaay is hot, shut up)
- set up my Cintiq finally
- drunken loads of cough syrup
- eating buckets of paracetamol
- gone on Tamiflu (oh god the nausea)
oh god I am so so sick of my room. I missed work for 2 days and honestly honestly WTF. I would rather have been anywhere but sick with this flu. I would rather have been working in an old folks home changing old peoples soiled diapers. Yes. It was possibly the nastiest illness I have had in years. Oh god yes. IT WAS BAD. Am not even being a drama queen. I didnt almost die or anything but man... Ok so first there were the coughing spasms where I couldnt sleep, the weakness and the cold sweats, the sore throat, lungs, body etc... then I went on Tamiflu which caused nausea so on top of everything else, I felt like I was going to be sick all the time. And those of you who know me, know that I dont throw up often, and nausea? Yeah I am not too good with nausea.
But now its over. I feel oodles better. I still have a horrible lungclenching cough, but luckily now my body is strong enough to actually cope with it. And it sure as hell doesnt sound sexy, but hey I am alive... The rumbling in my lungs every time I breathe is annoying as hell, but am guessing that will pass as i cough all this crap out...
and back to work tmrw yay! I missed my crew. I mean of course I hope they did ok without me, but a teeny little part of me hopes that they did miss me! SOFIE YOU KNOW YOU MISSED ME!
Life back in Newport seems to be going along just fine without me, which is good. I dont have time for that, but part of me wishes I was needed sometimes lol... I miss my boys up there... Am heading to Belfast to see my Nina in a couple of weeks, cannot wait, my girl in the WIZARD OF OZ, am so dead excited!
Anyway, just wanted to say hi there, yes I am still alive. And until I have some more juicy updates (ummm yes there was this one weekend before last where i...cough cough....damn this cough!) I am going to bid you farewell!
Love you longtime!
x
First week at DIS
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Saturday, 18 July 09 - 10:48 PM (GMT) By Helenasia - in Updates |
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Weight: 9 st 7 lb
Current mood: A little maudlin
So now I have survived my first week at work in London! Oh it has been insane...and so wonderful. There are so many benefits to working for Disney that I had never imagined and jebus I just have to stop every now and then and remind myself to breathe...
I am getting used to London, found a couple of places I love, like Portobello Road, and actually I really do love my neighbourhood, it doesnt seem like London somehow. Oh and there are a few pubs on the waterfront not far from work that are just a little slice of heaven on earth. Food is versatile and plentiful, but fucking pricy. But yay sushi! and yay green curry! I only have had time to cook about twice this week...
Ok so lets talk work. They have us doing some concept artwork and sketches for a new game. The GForce game is coming out soon and we are testing that, and we are also testing a few other games that I dont think I should be talking about. Let me just say. I DRAW AND PLAY GAMES AND THINK UP CRAZY SHIT! God I love my job. I am actually getting paid for this.
Theres a cinema in the building, for screenings and sometimes celebrities use it. Like Madonna and Johnny Depp. Yes.
One of the other interns ran into Colin Firth in the lift last year. My boss had a meeting with TIM BURTON last week. Yes, yes he did. And yes I had to literally stop myself from attaching myself to my boss's leg and forcing him to drag me all the way to Burtons production house. My boss is damn cool btw, in fact all the creative team are damn cool...Seriously, its nuts sitting alongside some of the most talented people in the games industry and having them answer every little dumb question I ask. I wish I could say more but yeah...
There are jellybeans in the cafeteria. We have a teeny starbucks there too. Just for us. There are sample sales. There are discounts.
I work until 6 or 7 every day. Why? BECAUSE WHEN WORK IS DONE I DONT WANNA GO HOME! I would rather hang out there...lol.
Disney Interactive Studios is the most amazing place on earth to work.
The only downside is that in a years time the internship will be over, and there are no positions available for my job description in that office. But Disney is massive, like a huge octopus it has tentacles everywhere and I have been assured that if I work hard, I will get a good job, with the help of my bosses.
Oh oh oh! You know who Bob Iger is? CEO of Disney? yeah went to see him give a talk last week. Dude makes about 20 mill per year. Yeah.
For once I wish time would slow the fuck down. This is too awesome.
Why am I maudlin though? Well, am knackered, and need a break, but all my bestest friends, are...well, not here. I seriously need to get a cat. Or a chihuahua. Is it easy to train them?
PS. A little shout out to Sofieee, aka JoBroHo, my fellow production intern. She and I keep each other insane. She is awesssssoooooommme. Oh yeah I went there.
July 7th
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Friday, 17 July 09 - 12:34 AM (GMT) By Helenasia - in Updates |
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In the interest of this being my first blogpost from London, I thought I would do it Bridget Jones style:)
Weight: 9 st, 6 lb (this just happens to be 7 pounds lighter than last week when I made the silly attempt to see how much I could beef up in one week. The answer was: a lot. I could easily pursue a career as a bodybuilder lol...)
Cigarettes smoked: Ummm well there was that one when I was saying goodbye to Nath and Jon, and the other while I was waiting for my train from Paddington to Ealing...so...2. But that was yesterday lol...
General mood: Ummm...unsure.
Woke up at around noon to find the flat as quiet as it was when I arrived last night, seems the people in here are rather solitary creatures on weekdays, which suits me just fine, since I start work next Monday:)
Spent the day so far cleaning the walls, and discovering that the paint rubs off along with the dirt....oops. Gonna pick up a pot of paint later I guess. I want to paint the whole room, but the ceilings are way high and I am teeny so, thats not going to work. Unless I make friends with a giant. I could do that I suppose.
I need various things for this room to feel like home, the first would be an INTERNET CONNECTION! Yeah I need one. Badly. Its freaking me out being disconnected. Which is probably why I am blogging. Am actually just typing this into my laptop in the hope that soon in the future I can upload it.Gah.
Other things I need are:
A mirror (so I can do my makeup and hair of course)
A desk for work
A chair to sit on while I do work
MY FRICKING IMAC. Yes its still in Cardiff being looked at. Ugh:( I miss Koalaku so much... I cannot believe he just exploded like that...hope they can salvage at least the harddrive...I dont wanna lose all my pictures! And music!
Paintings for the walls...or like something. Was thinking of picking up a blank canvas today and just painting some random shit:)
Day after tomorrow I am heading up to Lincoln with my sister and my nephew (yay! :)) for my cousins wedding. It will be the biggest family event I have been to in...like...4 years I think lol...Am really looking forward to it!
Then over the weekend I will be entertaining my younger cousin Thomas, we are going to check out Madam Tussauds, the London eye, etc, never seen any of that so it should be a blast:)
And yeah then on Monday I start work. Where? AT DISNEY interactive Studios in Hammersmith. What was that? Oh yes I said it. DISNEY! Lol, it doesn't get old. And when it does, well, hit me.
Right I am going to get myself dressed and head out to explore my hood! Talk to you soon my homies:)
x
July 9th
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Friday, 17 July 09 - 12:34 AM (GMT) By Helenasia - in Updates |
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Day 3 in London!
Weight: 9 st 5 lb
Cigarettes smoked: One yesterday and about 3 the day before...
General mood: Heartbroken and lonely and so looking forward to being surrounded by family for the next two days...
Well everything's off with whatshisface, we had decided to give it a go, gave it a go and its all gone now. In a way I guess its for the best, its only fair to give the London boys a chance, and maybe now I can see what its like to date an older man lol... I wonder, will I be able to give up the beefcake?
Honestly though although I am putting on a brave face, I am gutted. I hate how easily I fall for people. I could probably fall for a tree if it smiled at me and gave me a cocky line lol...
There are a gazillion and reasons and one why I am better off now, but...ah for fucks sake my heart won't listen.
My room is looking fairly decent now, it just needs 3 things to make it home, my computer, desk and chair lol...
Internet is being set up next week so soon all this will be online woop, then I can probably stop blogging for a while and just update my facebook status every few minutes as usual...
I met another one of my flatmates, Ramona from Romania and she is awesome. She is the kind of person that makes a house a home and I really am so happy shes here. My first new friend in London:)
I want a cat. Am seriously wondering if I could get away with having one in here quietly lol...would have to take it for walks every day after work lol...its doable!
Anyhoo, gotta head off and pick my sister up at Kings Cross! Yaaaaay! Cant wait to see her! Although I have to confess, am jealous as hell right now, shes in love and pregnant...hehe...
One day, right?
Disney, Life, Love and other stuff:D
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Friday, 26 June 09 - 12:34 PM (GMT) By Helenasia - in Updates |
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Lets set the stage.
Its Friday at noon...there's a light drizzle of rain outside and it suits my mood perfectly. Am feeling slightly melancholy, and we all know that is the optimal mood for blogging. Got a little bit of nostalgia and wistfulness going on that is completed by the strains of Michael Jackson's "Leave Me Alone" in the background. How many times I have danced my booty off to his tracks...and I am sure I will for many years to come.
Next week is the big move to London. The contracts from Disney arrived in April and were sent back in May after a thorough reading through all the confidentiality clauses and legalities. Its so real.
I found somewhere to live in a flat with 3 other girls my age, its 5 stops away from Hammersmith on the tube, and in a nice place, its also close to my cousin's flat, which helps:), main thing is, its affordable clean and nice!
Work starts on the 13th of July, and I have to say I can't wait. I found out I will be working with a chick from Ireland, who has travelled around a bit like I have. Her artwork is pretty kickass too, you can see it HERE. The two of us will be the production interns for Disney Interactive Studios, the games division. We get to come up with ideas for games, test the ones in production and just do what we are best at, being silly.
There are tons of other interns at Disney every year, but the rest are all stuck in Marketing or Accounting. Me and Sofie have the dream job.
My plan is to work my ass off, staying late, doing weekends, going the extra mile (and another 5) in the hope that once the year is up, they will want to hire me fulltime... Oh god that would be awesome! Then maybe one day....Pixar!
I just never thought that I would be working for Disney before I finish studying... I thought I had set my sights high with wanting to work for Aardman...but Disney I always thought was out of my league! My dreams are coming true:) and damn it feels good. It feels so unbelievably amazing to get the affirmation that yes I am on the right track, ya know?
I was astounded I even got the interview at the time...
Basically this is what happened:
I sent in the creative brief HERE in February and in April I got this amazing email from the current production intern, David Holland, asking me to come in for an interview. I was jumping up and down in joy, just ask my Ma, she got the full brunt of my freakout lol...
I was ecstatic. Then as I was finishing up my semester I pushed aside thoughts of Disney, I was busy settling into life here. I was happy, I had some amazing friends, and somehow it didn't seem like it could happen. I didn't think it would be possible.
Then I went for the interview. OMG i was panicking my ass off. Stepped into the lobby, and was waiting next to this massive jewel encrusted Mickey Mouse statue...and a chair made out of Pluto stuffed toys. Not intimidating at all...HA!
And all these people kept walking past with portfolios and briefcases and all looking very important and...vibrant somehow...that was the weird thing, noone seemed tired or pissed off.
But I was bloody terrified, had no idea what to expect. And as I sat there quietly shitting myself, I realised the lunacy of the moment. There I was, not even done with my MA, in the lobby of Disney Interactive Studios in London, waiting for an interview. My brain could not handle it. So I decided it had to be a dream. I decided fuck this, its too bizarre and farfetched to be REAL. And so I went through the interview with a smile on my face handling questions with ease and determination and...yeah I didnt know how it went really, but I knew I had been honest and given them a good idea of who I was and what I could do for them.
Then I went home, and was completely and utterly knackered. Morning after I had a phonecall.
I got the job.
And instead of being ecstatic like when I got the interview, I got a horrible sinking sensation in my stomach, because I knew I would have to move again, I would have to say goodbye to all my friends here and leave.
And I was terrified I would have another depression attack like I did in January, only this time I would not have my support group. Most of all I knew I would lose my best friend at the time. Things had been going well with him, and we were getting closer and closer...but I knew that if I left, it would stop.
And it did. That was the sacrifice I had to make for Disney. I knew it at the time.
But I also knew I had to take the job.
Now, I am feeling good about it. I made the right choice, like my cousin said, What's for you will not pass you by.
I have her in London, I have a few other old friends, and hell, I am sure it won't be that hard to make some new ones. My career is starting for real here and thank god. :D
Finally, had an amazing semester in uni, got B's all around:D and yeah our group project turned out really well, we have sent it off to a few festivals:D Its on my facebook page, but yeah I haven't uploaded the final cut to youtube yet....
Lovelife has thrown me a curveball, got me another boyfriend, its not serious yet, and I don't know if it will survive the long distance, but its good for me this one is, he really cares about me and isnt afraid to show it.
My sister is coming to visit and shes going to have her second child soon, theres a big family wedding coming up, so many things are happening, all life-affirming and joyous.
There is so much to look forward to, but instead of living in the future as I normally do, I am just trying to live in the present and enjoy my last few days in Newport. God I love this place. Its dodgy as fuck, but its been home:) And my friends here have been amazing, I am definitely keeping in touch with them all.
So London baby, here we come:)
P.S. here are a couple of pictures I have been working on, just to keep you going!
Why am I not sleeping? Lol...
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Tuesday, 19 May 09 - 11:14 PM (GMT) By Helenasia - in People |
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So now I have handed in all my uniwork...and am just trying so hard to get my head around everything that needs to be done before the move to London...
Main thing is, I need to find a place to live, and somehow magically come up with the funds for a deposit... Anyone who feels like handing me a massive wad of cash? Now is your chance! LOL...
I also have a few things I wanna finish up workwise before starting the job with Disney. Once I begin the work there, I won't be able to work for Ymir Mobile anymore due to a conflict of interest... shame, coz I liked the whole family business thing.
Am also wrapping my head around saying goodbye to all my friends again. Yeah this time I am not moving to a different country, which will make it easier to keep in touch, but yeah its not gonna be the same is it? No more popping upstairs to visit Daryl, Gemma, Bob, Nath, Chris and Nina... no...now I will have to once again draw on my charm to sucker people into being my mates lol... Its so tiring socializing dahling lol...
Its an exciting time, but its also a worrying time, and yeah once again all the stability I built up this year is being thrown into the wind...but...there has to be hope right? I mean you can't grow unless you push yourself just that little bit further, take some risks right?
And when I do finally find my "home" and "settle" down, its gonna be a helluva lot better than what I have right here and right now.
... More items are available in my News Archive
