The Ultimate Chronicles of Helenasia

Incoherent venting of an anxiously overambitious fanatic

On love

		Monday, 19 October 09 - 07:18 PM (GMT) By Helenasia - in Love

 For almost 2 years now I have been incredibly stupid in love. I have fallen in love with those who are unavailable, either emotionally or physically, sometimes both. I have fallen for those who are immature both physically and emotionally, and worst of all, I have fallen deeply in love with those who belong to someone else.

This has happened more than once, more than twice in the past 2 years.

Wanna know who I have not fallen in love with?

The (single) ones who fell for me.

For some reason, although I would really love to share my life with someone, I want it to be on my terms, and those who have made a move on me, in the manner I deem appropriate, or acceptable or welcome, just haven't done it for me.

I strongly believe that there is someone out there for me, that I won't have to settle for. And I believe that being single is not the best attribute a man can have.

This sounds awful, but come on, how many attractive funny and awesome dudes aged 30+ are single? I suppose what I mean by this is that I don't mind fighting for someone, but...I don't go looking for trouble. It takes two baby, it takes two.

I would rather spend the next year working my ass off, having stolen moments here and there, romantic affairs with gorgeous men from other countries, passion and fire.... than sit at home knowing I could do better, wasting my life away on someone I do not love.

One of my friends mothers told her that she should only marry someone who loves her more than she loves him. Now, although thats not so bad, for me, I won't settle for like.

I want it all.

Love without pain isn't really romance (Röyksopp)

PS. No I am not seeing anyone, but I have a massive crush.

Yelling at the Moon

		Tuesday, 17 February 09 - 11:28 PM (GMT) By Helenasia - in Love

For love:)

		Saturday, 14 February 09 - 08:23 AM (GMT) By Helenasia - in Love

 When God made the world, He chose to put animals in it, and decided to give each whatever it wanted. All the animals formed a long line before His throne, and the cat quietly went to the end of the line. To the elephant and the bear He gave strength, to the rabbit and the deer, swiftness; to the owl, the ability to see at night, to the birds and the butterflies, great beauty; to the fox, cunning; to the monkey, intelligence; to the dog, loyalty; to the lion, courage; to the otter, playfulness. And all these were things the animals begged of God. At last he came to the end of the line, and there sat the little cat, waiting patiently. "What will YOU have?" God asked the cat.

The cat shrugged modestly. "Oh, whatever scraps you have left over. I don't mind."

And God gave a great shout of laughter at the cleverness of this small animal, and gave the cat everything she asked for, adding grace and elegance and, only for her, a gentle purr that would always attract humans and assure her a warm and comfortable home.

But he took away her false modesty.

~ "When God Made Cats" by Lenore Fleischer

If only...

		Friday, 26 September 08 - 11:58 AM (GMT) By Helenasia - in Love

 IF - Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
   Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
   But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
   Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
   And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream — and not make dreams your master;
   If you can think — and not make thoughts your aim;
If your can meet with Triumph and Disaster
   And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
   Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
   And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
   And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
   And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
   To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
   Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can walk with crowds and keep your virtue,
   Or walk with Kings — nor lose your common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
   If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
   With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
   And — which is more — you'll be a Man, my son!

Losing your Mind for the sake of your heart.

		Saturday, 20 September 08 - 09:26 AM (GMT) By Helenasia - in Love

 So this has been on my mind lately and yeah well I stumbled across some interesting articles especially this one. 

The article is titled 5 Reasons not to fall in love, and right there under no. 5 is the exact source of my angst.

Reason 5 not to fall in love : This is the worst thing of it all. It is the fear of losing her to someone else or to something else. It is the fear of waking up one day and dreading he has just stopped loving you. It is this fear that will give you sleepless nights. That will give you pimples on your smooth face. That will give you goosebumps. This fear will take away all your sanity, all your peace. And sooner or later you will start thinking it is better to be single then to live with this fear.

Yeah thats exactly it. I don't want to lose my mind along with my heart every time, yet it happens over and over and to be honest, I don't like it. I like being secure and stable and SANE.

Feist said it best:

"The saddest part of a broken heart
Isn't the ending so much as the start
The tragedy starts from the very first spark
Losing your mind for the sake of your heart"

Meh.

Exactly

		Wednesday, 10 September 08 - 10:24 PM (GMT) By Helenasia - in Love

My Favorite Things About Malaysia

		Thursday, 24 July 08 - 04:10 AM (GMT) By Helenasia - in Love

 In 4 days I am leaving Malaysia, and although I should be packing, what am I doing? Yep you got it, I am procrastinating on Facebook...hahahaha....

Yesterday I did something that I have been wanting to do for 3 years, ever since I reached Malaysia. I finally bought myself a pair of Guess shoes. And dear lord they are pretty. I dont even know and I dont even care when I will actually wear them. Its just so fabulous to own a pair. And before you ask, no this is not the most I have ever spent on a pair of shoes and no I didnt have to sell my first born. Guess shoes in Malaysia are actually cheaper than no brand shoes in Iceland. Yep, Iceland is hell for shoelovers...

Anyway, inspired by my urge to do as little as possible, I have decided to create a list today. A list of my favorite things about Malaysia, the things I will miss and the things that have made my life here worth living! And no they are not in any particular order, just the order that my brain excreted them right now.

1. Shoes shoes shoes. Malaysia has 2 leading shoe brands, Nose and Vincci, both of which are cheap as hell (RM 50 or about 1000 ISK). These shoes are stylish, comfortable and no they do not fall apart in days. They are usually pretty sturdy.

Apart from these brands you have ALDO, GUESS, FIORUCCI and a gazillion more, but lets not get lost here.

2. Sunshine. Endless hours of beautiful lifegiving sunshine. Yes it gets its own spot on the list because thats how much I will miss it. I love the sunshine, I was born in summer and basically if there still was a religion where we worshipped the sun? Yeah I would be in it.

3. The Beaches. Malaysia has a few of the most beautiful beaches that I have ever seen. Some look even better than postcards. They truly are a little glimpse of paradise. Am blogging about the beaches in a separate post, so thats all for now.

4. Wings Coffee at Limkokwing. This coffeeshop saved my life the 3 years I was at Limkokwing. Especially when I was working there. One of the baristas, Hisham (sorry if I fucked up the spelling) is awesome, he always has time for a chat, is always smiliing! Hes become more than the provider of my lifegiving juice of the coffeebean, he is a friend:) Oh and congrats to him on his babyontheway!

5. The Roti Naan Dude. At the front of Cyberia where I live, there is this one guy who makes the best naan bread in the world. He is another dude who always has a sweet smile ready for me, as well as a yummy cheese naan be it day or night and at only 3 RM.

6. Low Yat Plaza. Oh dear god this is the haven for gadgetry. It has everything. Everything related to electronics and computers you could ever possible need. Its all there, in one shopping mall. And right around the corner is....

7. Reflexology Foot Massage. Being able to afford a foot massage twice a month on a students income? You gotta be kidding! but no, really you can. For 1 hour they will knead and squish and manipulate your feet until you sigh with pure happiness. And I hear guys can get a happy ending too.

8. The Movie Theatres. KL has some of the best and cleanest movie theatres I have ever been to. Icelandic theatres would bow down in shame. There is no fighting for seats, as everyone books a seat when you buy your ticket. There is no sticky popcorn on the floor, not unless you drop it yourself. And the tickets only cost 10-12 bucks... thats like 250 ISK. Downsides? Not worth mentioning.

9. The Shopping. I know I mentioned shoes before, but seriously, KL has awesome shopping... dear god yes.

10. Cheap and Good Food. One of the best things about studying in Malaysia. Even when you are down to your last 2 RM you can still get something to eat. The food here is rich, tasty, spicy and filling... Oh dear god I have to learn to make black pepper beef and the nasi ayam padprik before I go... OH AND DUDE, I know its not really Malaysia, but DAMN Chilis has awesome burgers...

11. The Diversity. For people watching? Malaysia is a fricking dreamworld. Chinese Indian, Malay, German, Swedish, African, whatever your flavor, its here:)

12. Hairdressers. I love the fact that here I can go and have my hair colored and cut without going broke. And I love the fact that I found Monsoon ID, with the super awesome hairstylist Jimmy. I would trust him with my hair anyday.

13. Networking. There is no better place on earth to meet people in the industry and make contacts.

14. The friends. I have met film directors, animators, fashion designers, singers, actors, web designers, photographers, teachers, accountants, architects...and oh man so many more....and I am telling you, the only one thing these people have in common is that they are my friends and therefore awesome. Hahahaa....

Seriously though I have made contacts and friends here with people that I will keep forever. Malaysia is a wonderful awesome place for networking and socializing and creating.

I have had the most awesomest time here... Seriously folks. 

I love Malaysia!!!!!!!

How do you feel when it's all been felt

		Wednesday, 18 June 08 - 04:34 PM (GMT) By Helenasia - in Love

Last night me and a few friends celebrated the national day of Iceland, 17. June. In true fashion we had a few beers and sang some songs and ate lots of meat. I had a great time, it had been a while since I had let my hair down, and now that all my assignments are done I am finally a lot more free.

Today I woke up with a bit of a heavy head and...for some reason a heavy heart.

In recent years I have noticed this happening. I become wistful and slightly melancholy the day after a night out. If I am single its usually not so bad, I just shut myself in and watch romantic comedies and cry my eyes out. Right now am STILL getting over breaking up with the biggest love of my life so far. My best friend is also going through some issues, so although we tried to kinda like be there for each other,  I still had this nagging hole inside me...

I know I can make it on my own, I know I can take care of myself. I know that my life is getting somewhere, that I am gonna make it, on my own terms. Which brings me to these lyrics by Edie Brickell:

But...

Some days I ... I kinda wish I belonged to someone. 

I wish I still had someone who was mine, and who understood me and you know, someone who is fighting alongside me in this world... A partner in crime, someone who is on my side.

I am lucky enough to know what it is like to have someone like that. I know what its like to be with someone who loves you for what you are and who you are and what you are capable of. I know what its like to love that person back, truly, no holding back.

After knowing that, after feeling that amazing feeling, its damn hard to going back to doing things on your own. My friends and family are good to me, but...its different. They all their own battles to fight. And some days I just remember all too well when I was not on my own...

So here's the second song, also by Edie:

Some would say obsession, I say collection.

		Sunday, 15 June 08 - 07:02 AM (GMT) By Helenasia - in Love

 I am a rather compulsive t-shirt shopper... I have been meaning to do this for a while and yeah kinda see what kinda collection I have here. These are my favorite tshirts. Yes I have more tshirts. Yes. Yes I know. I have a few. And yesterday I bought two more. Yes ok, listen I may have a problem but come on, they're PRETTY!

Naflaskoðun

		Wednesday, 21 May 08 - 06:06 AM (GMT) By Helenasia - in Love

You know how when your'e a kid and after the bath your fingers look all pruney? And when you go swimming with your friends you know its time to come out when your fingers are so pruney you can barely feel anything?

When you are my age its not just your fingers, its also the palm of your hands. And it happens much much faster... When I first noticed it happening to my palms 3 years ago I panicked, I thought there was something wrong with my hands, that I was allergic to something, coz there it was, right there in the center of my hands...a wee bit of pruniness. Now when I go swimming it takes about 20 minutes to half an hour for my whole hand to look like there's a secret maze all over it.

I look at the back of my hands and I see my mother's hands. Its strange, I still do not feel like I am old enough for all this. When I move my hands I see the same movement as in my father's hands. Restless, strong, impatient to get to work again.

Age is catching up with me.

In 2 weeks time I will be 28. In my mind I am still 18...will that ever change?

as for the question why our fingers get pruney? Here.